Child Support,  Marriage,  PreNup Pop,  Relationships

[3] Reason Child Support Is Used as Revenge!

Reading Time: 5 minutes

I was married for 17 years! I’ve known my ex-wife for more than 20 years. We have [5] kids together. I held it down for my fam the entire time we were married. I’m a hard worker, and believe supporting the kids financially is a father’s responsibility – for the most part! My ex-wife didn’t work outside the house most of the time we were married. I bust my a$$ for years, for years My G! I bagged groceries, I worked the grave yard shift stocking shelves, I worked in frozen food mopping f#%king freezers with anti-freeze, I’ve unloaded grocery trucks with 2,ooo lbs pallets, worked in f#%kin warehouses in hundred degree heat, worked [2] full-times at the same time, went back to college while holding down a full-time gig, and still made time for the kids and wife! I even started my own graphic design business, and still worked fill-time at night. I worked myself so hard dawgg for my fam, that one day my daughter ask me if we were rich! I didn’t post in front of my kids, nor sought for their sympathy. I worked hard, and didn’t take s#%t for myself! I bought my ex-wife a [5] bedroom house, I bought her cars, I made sure she got her AS degree, and encouraged her to get her Bachelor’s. I poured my life into this woman. I’m telling you all of this because I don’t want you to get what I’m about to say twisted. For [15] years I faithfully took care of my family. We truly started from the bottom dawgg – from a trailer park in N.C. to a 2nd [4] bedroom home in V – A! I provided a lifestyle for this women she had no drive to provide for her-damn-self (period)!

So when I informed my ex-wife that I was done, it wasn’t no surprise. Six years before I left for good, I asked for counseling because I was done then. As a matter of fact, I almost left in year nine of our marriage, but stayed for the kids. I knew we was over years before I finally left. She didn’t give [2] s#%ts about my hard work, and dedication as a man, especially the sacrifices I made financially, so that her and the kids were comfortable. By the time I left, I was wore the f#%k out fam! Her lazy, non drive having a$$, didn’t contribute s#%t, except for a child care business that she started in the [5]  bedroom crib I bought! She kept kids n!gg@, while I lifted [50 lbs] cabbage boxes, only weighing myself a buck 35 lbs, all damn day! I honestly didn’t give [2] f#%ks how she was going to make it when I left! But here’s the thing My G, my mom was living with us, and stepped in to help this lady [and her grand kids]7ruth Be Told (what up Tom, I love the vision cuz) when I finally bumped out! I admit, I could have transitioned better, but this selfish a$$ woman still was able to maintain the lifestyle I worked hard to build. 

While she was living rent free, I was struggling trying to keep a roof over my head. She “ran” to the damn DCSE so fast, that I didn’t have a chance to get my financial s#%t together. But she didn’t do that s#%t because she needed it, she did that s#%t because I got her “replacement.” There was a time that I had empathy for my ex-wife. I was faithful to her a$$ for years, but I found me a woman (younger than her, sexier than her, more appreciative than her).  She was mad, jealous, envious, and embarrassed. Which leads me to my first reason for revenge.

Revenge Reason [1] – to be a b#$%h to the “other” woman for stealing her man! If you think your EX is going to let you go scot-free to be with another woman, and y’all have kids together, dawgg think again! She will do everything she can to spite you because she despises your “new” woman! My ex-wife literally said out her mouth that she was going to “get her money” before I had a chance to spend it on my new lady’s kids. She didn’t “need” that damn money. She got my mother to sign documentation that she was paying rent, so that she could get tuition assistance, and additional food stamps while working a Federal job at night! I didn’t have a problem giving her support for the kids, but I did have a problem with her trying to get $1,200 a month out of me when her a$$ didn’t have any rent, mortgage, light bill, gas, nothing. She just wanted to make sure I couldn’t afford to give my new lady the lifestyle she had taken for granted for years!

Revenge Reason [2] – to f#%k you out of your endz! All women love security My G! And your “paper” adds to her security. She will use the CS system to “take” your s#%t just because she can! My ex-wife loved my allegiance and commitment to making her happy. I built my life around ensuring that she didn’t have to lift a finger (literally). I catered to her like a slave. But unfortunately I gave her complete access to all of my finances. We used to live in a country town in North Carolina. This mofo could sign my paycheck right in front of the bank clerk. She could deposit, cash, and spend my s#%t however she wanted. She had access to “all” of my accounts! She even bought a van, using the vehicle I was still paying on as a trade in, without me being there to sign s#%t! I took away her financial privilege when I left, and she wanted to keep some of that s#%t for herself by any means necessary – child support gave her the ability! 

Revenge Reason [3] – to stay an a$$hole in your damn life! I know you don’t want to believe that your EX “boo-thang” wouldn’t treat you wrong, but My G, I’m here to help understand that when you walk out that door, you’re just another n!gg@ to her (period)! All that s#%t you did, breaking your back for her and them kids, don’t mean a damn thing! She’ll catch the quickest case of amnesia you’ve ever seen! My ex-joint stayed saying she didn’t care what I was doing in my “new” relationship, but stayed adamant about taking me to court for child support. As a matter of fact we made an agreement that CS would be $400 unofficially. Then she took me to court because I wasn’t paying the original $1,200 from when she opened the case. Only to find out that DCSE made a mistake, and I had been over paying my CS for almost 2 years, while still accumulating over 10 racks in arrears. I finally was able to get my case reviewed, and DCSE erased the full 10 grand from my arrears because of the mistake “they” made. (Even though she lied and stated that she had the arrears removed!) While she was still trying to be a b#$%h, and keep me on them “papers,” the universe worked that s#%t out in my favor. She had the nerve to tell me when I wasn’t paying CS, she wasn’t “missing” it anyway! She knew the money I needed to survive she was using to be comfortable, and be an a$$ in my life!

My G, you should never have a problem with supporting your kids. As a matter of fact, your kid’s momz shouldn’t have to ask for the support if you are a straight up dude. But don’t ever give into the pressure of giving any woman money because she’s scorned. Her emotionalism is no reason for you to live on the f#%kin street, so you can give her some damn money. It does your kids no good if you can’t  support yourself – whether you have a new woman or not! I know it’s a lot of irresponsible dads out here, but not all of us are abandoning our responsibility. Some of us are just over the bulls#%t, and don’t give a f#%k about a woman whose sole purpose is revenge!

What's good fam!!! I'm a divorced father of (8), and currently engaged to the most beautiful joint I've every seen! Let me break it down (6) kids are my bio-seedlings, and the other (2) sweet-hearts belong my soon-to-be wife! I'm an entrepreneur (hustler), and author. Fatherhood is my calling and passion. This blog is for My G's that hold it down for their "blended" fam, but haven't taking them nuptials. I'm all about empowering fathers and building strong families!


  • Kesha

    Hey there… I agree most women do use it as revenge but I can attest that we ALL are not like that…. in my case I only receive $76/mo and have been getting that amount for 7yrs… never ever went back to court for an increase and he only helps with cetrain things…

    • Keith McDaniels

      I respect your grind as a mother! I know supporting the kids is not easy. I just hate to see my brothas taken advantage of because their kid’s momz is in her feelings, and using CS to clap back! I salute you, and mothers like you who don’t “misuse” the CS system! Thank you for commenting – Ms Kesha!

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