Gender Household Roles,  Relationships

[3] Fo’ Sho’ Signs You With The “wrong” Chic!

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Ok brothas, lets get into this s%#t! We have to be honest with ourselves about how we select our women. Everything can’t be about that phatt a$$, them sexy thighs, the pusniyee, or any other “physical” attributes. There are certain criterion that have to be considered, I would say, more critically than her beauty. I would suffice to say, that after being married for almost 2 decades, my “selection” process was extremely flawed. However, as the saying goes, hindsight is 20/20. Nonetheless, I would be remised, as a conscious black man, not to share my “insights” with my beloved brethren! Now that I’m divorced, and engaged to be married again, I can’t afford to dubiously repeat the “same” mofo mistakes – ya digg! So, there are a few “specs” I want to share with you that I “know” need to be considered, before you seriously contemplate walking down that aisle again! 

  • She LAZY…

My G, I’m not just talking about that chic that don’t work, and always looking for a handout! You can see her a mile away! I respect your time too much to talk about the lil ho’ jank from ’round the way. I’m talmbout the joint that work, got kids, and perhaps her own s#%t, but ain’t trying to maximize her damn life! Yeah, the chic that presents herself like she got some sense, but when she think you’re committed to the relationship, she all of a sudden lose her grind. She wants to level up, but not at the expense of her “own” effort. Her “benefit” of being in a relationship with your a$$ is so she can “receive” better while doing less! That’s some lazy  s#%t! Just because a woman not on the street don’t mean she ain’t lazy! Bruh wake up! The lazy woman learns how to leverage your drive to get what she wants! She got all the sense in the world on how you can get “y’all” to the next level! My G, don’t fall for that crap! Lazy women have no “initiative” to improve their lives – on a continual basis! Those lazy joints are content with “good enough,” and just surviving through life. Just because she has survival skills, doesn’t mean she has “wife” qualities. Don’t partner your life with a woman who can’t, or refuse to match your drive!

  • She has no personal VISION…

It’s one thing to not be a “planner,” but it’s something entirely different when you have no damn idea of what you want to do with your life. In my opinion there should not be an adult walking this earth, especially if they have kids, that has no freakin idea of where their life is headed. SERIOUSLY, what the hell is really going on? I’ll tell what’s going on, that women doesn’t value TIME! Bruh, if you don’t hear nothing else I say on this post, please understand this – you can’t buy back TIME! Once that s#%t is gone, it’s gone! Don’t commit to any woman who can’t articulate to you how she envisions her future. Because if she can’t see her future, she will destroy yours! At the least, become a huge distraction in your life. My G, if you are about your business, and out this mofo grindin’ everyday to get yours, the last thing you need is a woman with no “ambition.” She will be a discouragement to your personal discipline dawgg! Because she doesn’t value time, she doesn’t plan, nor prepare herself for “tomorrow.” She lives each day with no intention, and will manipulate you to join her “foolishness.” Women with no vision don’t see the value in gridin’ with no immediate gratification. That’s why they don’t get advanced degrees, nor start businesses, nor plan their parenting, nor discipline themselves to schedule their life. They’re on that “easy button” bulls#%t! Leave her a$$ where you found her, and get with a jank whose vision compliments yours!

  • She’s disrespectful towards MEN!…

My G, it is imperative that you DO NOT partner with any woman who doesn’t have a pure affection, and appreciation for you as a MAN! One of the greatest qualities you will find in any woman is her absolute admiration of authentic manhood! Women who can’t differentiate a “bad experience” with a man, from the core quality of men, are dangerous. If your woman doesn’t respect men, she will not respect your position in the relationship. She will attempt to reduce your value as a man to non-consequential. Her lack of respect for men perpetuates her emotional need to dominate the relationship. Her dominance secures her ability to control the outcome of the relationship; therefore controlling YOU! It’s critical my brotha to evaluate your lady’s family history. Does she come from a dominate matriarchal family? Does she have a respectful relationship with her father? Are there any men in her life that she respects that have any “real” influence in her life? If the answer to any, or all of these questions is no, then you can never be confident as a man that this woman has the capacity to respect you (PERIOD)! You can’t expect respect from a woman who was cultivated to be disrespectful! 

I love being a PreNup Pops! But what I understand now, more that I ever have, is that my fatherhood is directly influenced by my relationship with my woman. Often times there is too much focus on the execution of parenting, and not the quality of the parents. Parents are not always biological, nor married. The parental composition of a family has become complexly diverse. Therefore it is critically necessary to “partner” your life with the woman that “unequivocally” compliments your life the best. Don’t settle for a “glorified” mistress, when you can reign with a perennial Queen! – Holla at me!

What's good fam!!! I'm a divorced father of (8), and currently engaged to the most beautiful joint I've every seen! Let me break it down (6) kids are my bio-seedlings, and the other (2) sweet-hearts belong my soon-to-be wife! I'm an entrepreneur (hustler), and author. Fatherhood is my calling and passion. This blog is for My G's that hold it down for their "blended" fam, but haven't taking them nuptials. I'm all about empowering fathers and building strong families!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *