What role does extended family have in the blending process. Like for real, do extended family even count? It can be a slippery slope when you start involving extended family with your “blended” situation. When my lady and I were in the 1st year of cohabitating we had a baby. I didn’t know if my peeps would embrace my baby son. Since me and my lady wasn’t married, I didn’t know if even my momz would “accept” her new “grandson.” Real talk, I didn’t come around my folks because I knew they were conservatively opinionated people, and I didn’t want no smoke with these folks. I didn’t want my peeps to treat my new son, nor my step joints “funny.” I just didn’t want to expose my newly blended fam to my extended peeps, without knowing if they was rockin’ with us! Despite my best efforts to “protect” my fam, I still had to contend with how to “blend” my blended fam with my peoples.
My ex-wife and I were not on good speaking terms when we first separated. So my momz handled the visitation exchanges with my daughter. During one exchange my momz didn’t even speak to my step seedlings. I knew we hadn’t talked extensively about my new family, but I always felt her love for me would always be extended to whoever I loved! I felt bad for my seedlings because they were happy to meet my momz. Although momz and my seedlings have a great relationship now, it was difficult to initiate that blending process. I love my momz greatly, but as aPreNup Pops, I’m responsible for protecting my seedlings from “any”relationship that is potentially harmful. And I know that’s hard for extended peeps to understand. Everybody always got a damn opinion! But I can’t switch up on my step joints just to accommodate my folks.
It’s difficult to determine how, or even if, I should put effort into ensuring my blended fam is connected to my folks. My baby son deserves to have a relationship with “all” of his siblings. My son should be able to experience love from his Grandma, Aunties, Uncles, and Cuzzos not matter what side of the family they come from? What did he do wrong to receive ostracization? Why does my blended fam have to endure skepticism, and indifference when my all folks are “blended” in some way or another. My G, all my folks, openly or secretly, have dealt some form of “indiscretion” that has led to “blending.” Truth be told dawgg, most of our families are comprised with a combination of “blood lines.” We have to stop frontin, and have enough courage to be transparently honest about what constitutes a “family” in today’s society.
I’ve come to realize that many of the difficulties I’ve endured blending my fam were self imposed. I’ve always wanted to raise an extraordinary family, in unextraordinary conditions. My ideals, my vision, and my drive to be a great father, often times, exceed my ability to influence those connected to me. The challenge of blending your blended fam is determining your capability to assert your PreNup Pophood outside of your house. Cohabitational parenting ain’t popular! If you haven’t put a “ring” on it, and conformed to traditional “values”, your kids are damn near considered bastards! It’s imperative that you only allow those who embrace your fam to have “access” to your fam.You have to be vigilant as a PreNup Pops in protecting the “blending process” of your household. If folks don’t f#%k with y’all, shut’em down (period)! I promise you, if you stay consistent in your fathering, and defiantly protect you fam from BS, folk will eventually respect your parenting grind. Sometimes it may get lonely, but you can handle it My G! Your lady chose you for a reason! Put her, and them kids first, and extended family “blending” will be a natural outflow of your perseverance! – Holla at me!!!
What's good fam!!! I'm a divorced father of (8), and currently engaged to the most beautiful joint I've every seen! Let me break it down (6) kids are my bio-seedlings, and the other (2) sweet-hearts belong my soon-to-be wife! I'm an entrepreneur (hustler), and author. Fatherhood is my calling and passion. This blog is for My G's that hold it down for their "blended" fam, but haven't taking them nuptials. I'm all about empowering fathers and building strong families!