I’ve always felt like I was a hard worker. I stated once before that my mother is one of the hardest working people I know. I learned a great deal of my work ethic from my momz. When my momz finally retired after working for nearly 40 years as a civil service worker, she demonstrated the tremendous amount of commitment it takes to remain consistent as a hard worker. So, laziness was never tolerated by Ms. Karen (affectionately known as “KB”). My mom worked my a$$ when I was younger. I had a paper route at 14 years old, and worked my chores like I was a 1099! My cousins laughed at me all the time to the extent that they would refer to me as Tobe! (slave character in ROOTS) Even though I complained a lot about having to “work” all the time, I developed great discipline as a “young buc.” I carry this same value as a parent. And now that I’m a cohabitational parent, I plan to instill that same work ethic in my seedlings. As a matter of fact, I determined within myself to provide my step-seedlings with opportunities to apply my “teachings” through my businesses. I assumed that my lady and I shared not only the same ideals, but the same “understanding” that “hard work” was also mandatory in our crib. In a heated “debate” about black economics I stated that I “can’t stand lazy black people”. I actually mis-stated my thought, and said that all black people are lazy, which she defiantly disagree with. But by the time I could revise my statement, she was already lit! But what rocked my mental was realizing that we didn’t share the same “ideal” of hard work. I value personal discipline, and believe that every black adult should posses an impeccable work ethic. I made the indictment that any black person who isn’t applying their gifts, talents, and skills to maximize their potential is LAZY! That’s where the wheels fell off, and I knew this was about to get “ugly.” (and drinks was involved – Yea, I know!!!)
We proceeded to “debate” our positions. But while we were talking, I kept thinking about our kids. I kept thinking about how do we blend my ideal of “discipline and hard work” with her ideal of “happiness and easiness.” How, as a parenting partnership, do we raise kids with polar opposite values in regards to “work ethic?” How can you raise kids to be hard working, if their parents aren’t “hard working?” After debating everything from socio-economic challenges of black folks, to the lack of individual exposure, to financial empowerment, we finally ended the conversation. I didn’t change my position on black laziness, and she maintained her position of apathy for the disenfranchised.
We didn’t speak much the next day. I was totally convinced that my lady thought I was an Uppidy Black Republican. Which was fine with me. Historically speaking, African Americans mostly aligned with Republicans up until the 1960’s. The challenge for me was parental. I don’t want to raise lazy, financially illiterate, economically challenged kids. It makes no sense to waste valuable time training kids how to be “employees” only. I understand all of our kids won’t be business owners, but they all should be enterprising (in my opinion). None of “our” seedlings should leave this crib without the ability to create income for themselves. Which was the only point I was attempting to make. We (parents) can’t afford to work our a$$es off raising kids, only to send them off financially unprepared. I want to see my seedlings thrive financially, and not simply live from “check to check.”
As a PreNup Pops I understand that the burden of financial education is predicated by the current economic practices of the parents. You can’t teach what you don’t know. And you can’t impart what you don’t demonstrate. While I understand my lady’s position of apathy for those who are disenfranchised, at some point we have to move past “excuses” to action. I don’t care how long it takes, I’m determined to “live from what I’ve been made for” (a statement I learned from my former mentor – Bishop Betts). As a parenting partner, I’m committed to exposing my seedlings to sound financial empowerment. It ain’t about them being ‘rich” as much as it’s about them being wealthy. And that ain’t got nothing to do with being Republican!
What's good fam!!! I'm a divorced father of (8), and currently engaged to the most beautiful joint I've every seen! Let me break it down (6) kids are my bio-seedlings, and the other (2) sweet-hearts belong my soon-to-be wife! I'm an entrepreneur (hustler), and author. Fatherhood is my calling and passion. This blog is for My G's that hold it down for their "blended" fam, but haven't taking them nuptials. I'm all about empowering fathers and building strong families!