I try to do all I can to stay motivated, and encouraged to be a PreNup Pops. The truth of the matter is I don’t parent to my full potential. To keep it a “buc” with you, I don’t give a 120% effort everyday. I was laying in the bed at 2 o’clock in the morning looking at the ceiling thinking “you got a book out, a website, and on all this social media, but still not maximizing your capabilities.” I thought about all the talent I have, and all the ideas I have about motivating prenuptial fathers, but have not come close to implementing my full vision. I keep telling myself that “one day” this is all going to come together. I finally realized My G, “Aint’t Nobody Coming” to put in this work for me bruh!I can tell myself all these wonderful sayings, but nothing is going to get done on the level I see in my mind, until I start sacrificing on that level!I got on my own a$$ bruh! Nah, I’m for real! I really was holding myself accountable to some real s#%t. The truth is nobody really knows if you’re ballin’ out! Nobody really knows if you’re grindin’ to your fullest! If you’re going to “ball out” as a Pops you have to hold yourself to a higher standard. The level of accountability you hold yourself to has to be greater than anybody around you.And if your going to be a PreNup Pops, you got to come with it everyday, all day, with damn no excuses!
After laying in the bed for a little while longer, I challenged myself. I thought “well, what are you gonna do?” “Are you going to lay here and preach yourself back to sleep, or are you going to get to work?” I got up, put on some clothes, and went into my office. I took out my note pad that I keep next to Baby (that’s what I call my iMac), and started listing out my work day. At this point it was just after 3 0’clock in the morning. I quickly jotted down all the thoughts I had in bed, and started grindin’ My G! I knew at that point that there was no going back to being mediocre, and half a$$ about handling my business. Not even in my parenting. While I was working 2 things came to mind about my role as a PreNup Pops.
You have to be intentional about blending “your” fam! Bruh, nobody is going to blend your family for you. Your lady, and them kids are notgoing to buy-in until you convince them to buy-in. You can make as many rules, and fuss all you want. Until you are 1000% invested in blending your fam, your household will not grow closer in unity. There can be no doubt in your mind that you are “The Man” to lead the blending of “Your” family (period)! How you function as a parenting partner has to be indicative of your convictions. Your lady is going to observe your commitment to determine how much she believes in “you,” and how well you follow through with what you “say” the vision is for blending the fam. Her determination will dictate how much she enforces with the kids compliance to “your” vision of blending. You have to understand that she is a parent as well, but wants a man who can lead with confidence and competency. So everything you do My G has to be intentional, and decisive. I’m not saying you have to be perfect, but I am saying that you have to be consistent in the multiple facets of your role!
Respect is not optional. No one is going to respect your family until “you” start respecting “your” fam. This one was tough for me. I really had to do a gut check on this one bruh! Number one, I don’t like to fall short in anything I do. I especially don’t like to feel like my effort is not adequate. But I realized that there can be no real bonding in our house until we truly start respecting each other. Many of the issues I observed with my fam extended from a lack of damn respect. The girls arguing, and poppin’ off at the mouth all the time ain’t just sibling rivalry. My lady not fully adjusting her parenting style to accommodate my role ain’t just independence. My commanding style of communication ain’t just leadership. We can come up with all types of excuses for our behavior. But until there is mutual respect without regard to our individual family position, then there will never be real unifying of our ideals.Everyone in the household must buy-in to the notion of togetherness. Respect is what makes togetherness real and possible. And as a PreNup Pops, you have a responsibility to be the example of respect you desire to implement in your home. If you are disrespectful, in any capacity, publicly in front the kids, or privately with your lady, it’s going infect your entire household. And trust me, you will get called on your s#%t. If you’re going to lead change, you have to be the change you seek.
I have often stated that blending a fam is tough. But really bruh, the toughest aspect is disciplining yourself as a man to lead your fam. There are so many of our brothas who are struggling to maintain in this blended parenting game. We have a unique position as prenuptial fathers to assert ourselves while still maintaining our sense of value. It can be daunting to give a 1000% when you’re not the bio-dad, and you’re not married. If we keep it one hun’d, don’t no man want to give all his effort, time, and money just to take an “L” because y’all ain’t “legal.” But what I can tell you is that there is no license that will create the family you deserve to have in your life. Seek the virtue that evolves from a deep abiding belief that your attainment as a man encompasses your purpose as father and husband. No person can take from you the destiny that you were ordained to live on this earth. And if being a PreNup Pops is part of that destiny, then embrace it with everything within you. Then and only then can you be assured that you’ve done enough!
What's good fam!!! I'm a divorced father of (8), and currently engaged to the most beautiful joint I've every seen! Let me break it down (6) kids are my bio-seedlings, and the other (2) sweet-hearts belong my soon-to-be wife! I'm an entrepreneur (hustler), and author. Fatherhood is my calling and passion. This blog is for My G's that hold it down for their "blended" fam, but haven't taking them nuptials. I'm all about empowering fathers and building strong families!