There has been a great deal of conversation about violence against women, domestic or otherwise. Let me be the first to say that I don’t advocate any violence against women on any level. Not only was I raised that way by my single parent mother, I honestly believe that as men we should protect our women, and not abuse them. NOW, with that being said, WOMEN need to learn how to keep their damn hands to themselves (period)!If in deed, there is a physical difference muscularly between men and women, largely because of testosterone, women should respect men enough not to take lightly the potential to be hurt psychically when there is a clear lack of respect for said difference. (that last sentence was for my female debaters) Now for My G’s, don’t let your woman hit you, punch you, slap you, elbow you, nor anything that looks like “play fighting”, without clearly telling her a$$ that s#%t ain’t acceptable under any damn condition or reason!
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Nah, for real, this has got to stop my brothas! We can’t be afraid of protecting ourselves from clear double standards. You ain’t no punk, nor some b#$%h a$$ n!gg@ for speaking up for yourself. And yes, your physical boundaries are just as important, and relevant as hers. There is no reason your woman should be allowed to not respect your boundaries because she was “playin.” Nor because she (in some cases) is clearly the lesser physically, that she gets a pass forknockin’ you in your s#%t cause you said something in jest (or otherwise) that she didn’tlike. Far too often, and for too long have some women been able to say they were physically assaulted, when they were the perpetrators of crossing clear boundaries. Like I said, I grew up in a single mother household, and I got hit in my s#%t often for not doing something my momz didn’t like. My G, just because that foolishness may have been allowed (took place non consensually) when you was younger, doesn’t mean it was acceptable. We got to reverse this notion that it’s ok for men to be physically violated because we’re (generally) stronger than women. Additionally, it’s not ok for a woman to violate your personal boundaries man! – none of that is acceptable dawwg!!! If you tell her to get the f#%k out your face, then she needs to get to steppin’! Your boundaries are your boundaries, and they need to be respected (period) – especially by your lady!
When I was a senior in high school, my momz and I, got into a heated argument one morning about homework or some s#%t. Now my momz grew up in a military home, and my granddad was about that R-E-S-P-E-C-T. So raising your voice in the crib was a “No-No”, especially toward him! Anyway, my momz was going in on me, and I had enough, so I raised my voice in response to her yelling. Next thing I know, she jacked me up by the neck, and slammed me against a closet door in a hallway 10 feet away from where we were arguing. I’m vividly illustrating this scenario for one, to convey how prevalent domestic violence against males is in the black community, and secondly, to display how easy it is to overlook black males when it comes to assault from women. Often times violence against males from women is explained as being something very different than what it really is – abuse! Many times we as black men (males) are not valued to be protected by the ones who eventually at some point seek protection from us! So the very woman who raised me to respect women, also at the same time violated my physical boundaries as a male.My G, in many cases we’ve been conditioned as men to believe that it’s acceptable for women to hit us simply because of our gender status as men. It’s on us to turn this around!
I know many of us “play” with our ladies. I get it! It’s viewed as a form of intimacy, a love language if you will! But what I want you to consider bruh is when you withdraw your consent to be engaged on a physical level, is your boundary immediately respected? Do you have continue to insist that you’re through “playin?” Do you have to become slightly “aggressive” just so your lady knows that you are serious? Does she get to give you a few more cheap shots before she finally disengage? Does she get to call you soft, or a lil beeyach before she finally leave you alone? And that’s the grey area that never gets talked about My G! That’s that s#%t the leads to No Man’s Land!Because as soon as you “defend” yourself physically, you are automatically considered the aggressor. I’m not saying beat the hell out of your lady for not jumpin up like a slave every time you speak, but you shouldn’t be put in a circumstance where your word isn’t enough to diffuse a potential issue from a woman who say they “respect” and love you. As much as we love our Queens, we have to honor ourselves enough to consistently command the reverence we deserve to ensure that our personal and physical boundaries are respected! – Holla!
What's good fam!!! I'm a divorced father of (8), and currently engaged to the most beautiful joint I've every seen! Let me break it down (6) kids are my bio-seedlings, and the other (2) sweet-hearts belong my soon-to-be wife! I'm an entrepreneur (hustler), and author. Fatherhood is my calling and passion. This blog is for My G's that hold it down for their "blended" fam, but haven't taking them nuptials. I'm all about empowering fathers and building strong families!