It’s finally here!Ain’t Nobody Coming is a must read for fathers, and prenuptial parents who seek an honest reflection of the demanding realities of blended parenthood.
My G, I’m not a violent dude. As a matter of fact, I stay clear of sucka n!gg@s, just so I don’t get myself caught up! My dude, I’m in straight grind mode! This divorce has set me so far back, that I can’t afford to be in these streets foolin’ around on some BS. But these young “thunder cats” out here wildin’ mane! Especially some of these baby dads that are still in they feelins’ cause their baby momz is on some new d!%k. Man I ain’t got time for all that flexin’ and postin’ over something trivial! Why dudes be trying to act like they so concerned about their kids, when we all know what them antics really about. It’s so juvenile, and predictable dawgg. True s#%t! As if being a dad, a black dad at that, ain’t hard enough. I’m not trying to replace nobody My G! I got 6 joints, and they momz want this child support B, like the world is gonna end tomorrow! So the last thing I need is a problem with another dude about his kid(s), but that’s exactly what I got!
So peep this My G! One of my fiance’s kid’s father decided to come to my house unannounced on some BS! My lady had been having some issues with this dude for a minute. Their co-parenting relationship was s#%t if you ask me. As much as I understand “Man Law”, and try to make sure I give my lady the space she needs to co-parent without me stressin’ her, I cannot allow disrespect on ANY level! As a PreNup Pops you have to establish proper boundaries, and make sure your lady (and the kids) are protected at ALL COST! That’s what “real” dads do! The issue that is difficult for everyone involved is when you haven’t taken them nuptials, and them baby dads see you as a “boyfriend” ONLY! N!gg@s don’t like to respect boundaries that include their kids, especially if they are set by the “live-in” boyfriend. Bruh, I don’t give 2 s#%ts about that BS (period)! So when dude approached me, in my yard, shouting at my lady demanding that he see his daughter, I had a problem. He had some of his daughter’s dirty clothes in a bag trying to make it seem like he was there to deliver them s#%ts. So of course we threw hands! I don’t care who the f%#k you are, ain’t nobody showing up to my crib, and gonna disrespect me My G!
I’ve been a dad for 21 years dawgg! I’m not new to the parenting game. I handled myself just like any “dad” would have. And that’s the issue that has a lot of people bent out of shape. Just because you haven’t put a ring on her finger, and y’all haven’t exchanged vows, don’t mean you don’t function in a “fatherly” capacity. So when my manz came to the crib, I reacted like a “Pops”, not a “boyfriend.” Bruh, I told you that I’m not a violent dude, but there I was at 43 years old, fighting a n!gg@ in his 20’s, in the damn street over some BS! Even though that was 2 summers ago, the craziness is that the issue ain’t squashed. Not so much between me and homie, but because of the residual impact that “fight” has on my (our) ability to “blend” this family. If it wasn’t for my brotha Big Al, not willing to be an accomplice over some BS, and talking some sense into my crazy a$$, I’m sure I would be in prison right now! Bruh, you don’t know how close I was to doing some foolish ish, because I was being a “Dad.”
You can never undo a difficult experience that destroys your credibility as a parent. And if you and the kid’s momz aren’t in agreement with how co-parenting should be conducted with the dads, there will always be issues and distrust. Blending a family is not easy, nor is being a father – (figure)! The truth is you will never be to your lady’s kids what their biological dads are in their life. AND DON’T TRY! Even if their bio-dad is not active in their life. You don’t have to be “Jesus Christ” to none them kids because you’re not their Savior! You operate in a fatherly capacity that has limitations. Don’t let your emotional attachments distract you from the reality of your position. Understand what your abilities are as a man, and learn to be consistent as a “fatherly” influence to the kids. Because as soon as you get caught up in “your” vision, and lose sight of what you really are, you could “lose” it all (literally!)
What's good fam!!! I'm a divorced father of (8), and currently engaged to the most beautiful joint I've every seen! Let me break it down (6) kids are my bio-seedlings, and the other (2) sweet-hearts belong my soon-to-be wife! I'm an entrepreneur (hustler), and author. Fatherhood is my calling and passion. This blog is for My G's that hold it down for their "blended" fam, but haven't taking them nuptials. I'm all about empowering fathers and building strong families!