I don’t really have any clever intros for the topic of this blog. It sort of speaks for itself. I know a lot of my Homies want to ask me the “infamous” question, but don’t want to insult nor disrespect me if in fact I really love my lady. The craziness is that at some point a good number of women was somebody’s “side piece.” (Get it – SIDE PIECE…) – Let that marinate for a minute. A lot of times as men we “big up” each other for having a “dope” side jank, but when a dude decide to get serious and wife her, all of a sudden the “standards” change. The realness is that dudes really don’t want nobody to know that their “new wifey” been around the block a couple of three, fo, five times! Either way, what’s really the BIG deal My G?! Like for real, why is it a bad look for a dude to wife a chic that has “history?” Is it because she might have a high “body” count, and now she is viewed as a THOT? Is it because all of a sudden the p#%y is not good enough for a life commitment, but wet enough for a jump off?! I’m not trying to beat a dude up for being selective. I’m just trying to have a honest dialog about what seems to be a contradiction that is perpetuated by some fake a$$ codes we as men use to justify foolishness. I mean to each his own. I just don’t like to see us as men down grade a dude because he decided to make a choice that makes “him” happy. Real talk, what man is worried about what another man is doing in his damn bed?! Whatever understanding another dude has with his chic is that dude’s business.
I was on a phone interview the other day, and some how the interview turned into a discussion about why men chose “shackin‘” over marriage. The interviewer explained that he has a 40 year old daughter who is in a 12 year relationship with a divorced man she “cohabitates” with. I don’t know if she was his side jank while he was married or not. But it made me think about what constitutes a legitimate reason to cuff a chic, but don’t put a ring on it. Personally I don’t want to invest my time, money, effort and life into a woman, and then she f#%k me over because of a marriage license. I don’t care how many dudes she been with, if I’m fully invested in that s#%t, I expect and require the same in return. And if that mean marriage for me, then we getting married (period)! If that’s something the chic can’t do, or is unwilling to do, then I’m out. It’s that simple dawgg!
Honestly, I don’t care what another man, or anybody else for that matter, thinks about who I’m in a relationship with. Forget all the dumb ish! Folks are going to always have an opinion. People love to talk crazy about somebody, but steady doing dirt on the low themselves. If how many dudes your chic been with, or if you got with her while you (or her) was still with somebody else determines her wifey “qualifications,” then tell her that s#%t from the jump My G! But don’t let “people’s” distorted opinions about morality and relationships determine how you view your chic’s “worth!” None of that s#%t determines the quality of your relationship, nor the success of a marriage if you chose to make that move. Yeah, there might be some “real” baggage to contend with, but who don’t have skeletons in their closet. Ain’t nobody out here perfect. I don’t care how “unblemished” you think your chic is, I promise you it’s some dudes (or chics) that done already been up in there anyway (or close too it!). And most women are not going to be completely truthful about their past anyway! Either love it or leave it!
My fiance and I got together while I was still married. Despite what the condition of the marriage was at the time, the only thing people focus on is the fact that I was still (legally) married. I get it! I don’t hide from that fact, nor do I make any excuses about it. At the end of the day I’m grown, and I can chose how I want to conduct myself in any relationship. I don’t have to explain to folks what was going on in my marriage, and why I decided to be with my “side chic.” The same folks that ridicule, and got mess to say didn’t give 2 s#%ts about what I faithfully endured for almost 10 years. I take full accountability for my decisions, but I also don’t let people shame me, nor speak down about my relationship neither. Truth be told, most of the people I know are divorced, or on their 2nd and 3rd marriage anyway! I love my “side chic turned wifey” as my ex-wife has eloquently referred to my fiance in the past. We’ve been through some hella ish, but we’re still standing “strong!” We both know and understand the risk we’re taking! But we’re willing to take that risk knowing that “our” relationship is what we make of it. Yeah, I put a ring on it! And I’m super good with that. On the real bruh, some of these so called “side chics” make better wives than the ones y’all dudes is still married to – that’s why you take care of her better than your wife! – Holla!