Loving yourself is a critical aspect to self care. Too many times we as men don’t take the time to care for ourselves. We love to appear invincible, and never like to admit that we get depleted too! My G, we have to be real about our longevity as men and fathers as well. There is no need to get to the finish line as a parent, and run out of steam right when the kids are crossing the adulthood thresh hold. It’s imperative to know how to access when you need to rejuvenate. If you can’t determine the state of your well being as a man, then you will surely suffer in your effectiveness as a Pops. And if you are in a blended fam, you definitely need to be sharp on your parenting game. The blended process can be tricky, and as a PreNup Pops you don’t have time to be f’ing ish up!
I wrote in an earlier post how my step seedlings call me by my first name. It’s been difficult to hear little kids call my name like they are adults! I’m from the old school, and my momz didn’t raise ya boi that way. Anyway, the kids eventually, without my insisting, came up with a name that acknowledges who I am in their life while still respecting their biological dads. However, after a few days, they went right back to calling me by my first name. I was like OK, I guess that’s over. It was tough because not only are the girls young, but when they yell my name across the house for something, it sounds like it got a lil power behind it! I understand they may not mean it that way, but I can’t allow a child that I’m responsible for talk to me like we’re equals. The more time went by, the more I felt frustrated and angered every time they called my name.
One day after my morning meditation, I thought to myself when you value who you are, it’s your responsibility to never let anyone devalue who you (period). When you love yourself, and prioritize yourself first above all others, you don’t have to depend on others to give you significance, value or worthiness. It’s so important to be consciously aware of your self-worth and significance as a man. You cannot maintain healthy parenting if you are personally struggling to maintain internal balance. Blended Dads have a great deal of responsibility to lead the fam in wholeness and peace. Especially in a society that “devalues” the legitimacy step-families. If we as PreNup Popsaren’t whole within, how can we lead our fam bams strongly through the complexities of the blending process. It’s on us dawgg to ensure that our households are fortified, thriving and healthy.
I gathered my girls one afternoon in front of their momz to speak with them about this name issue. I was feeling positive about speaking with them because I knew that I had been patient, and understanding about why they referred to me by my first name. I shared with the girls that me nor their momz, had agreed before we moved in together, what they should call me. Even though, I allowed them to call me by my first name, I was never “good” with it. I also stated that since they came up with a name to call me that they were comfortable with, I will no longer answer them when they call me by my name. I asked them was that cool, and they were fine. We gave each other high fives, and continued with whatever we were doing. I felt that my patience and unwillingness to not settle for less paid off in that moment. I knew that the consistent work I put in as a PreNup Pops over the last couple of years would afford me equity with the girls in moments like these. I credit my recent focus on self health in empowering me to ensure that my value is respected in our home. It’s vital that the position of the father is properly esteemed in the family.
Dads are a critical component to the vitality, empowerment, and distinction of the 2 parent household.
My G, if you’ve been feeling unappreciated, overlooked, and undervalued, I have to tell that that’s on YOU man! If you don’t love yourself enough to (lovingly) require the family to value your role, you will always be treated less than adequate.Take time for yourself, so that you can properly maintenance you! You are too valuable and too important not to be LOVED!