Being in a blended family demands energy, effort and commitment. You can’t be lazy and be an effective parent. More importantly you can’t be undisciplined with your time. If you are poor at scheduling your time, you’re going to miss opportunities to establish and build a flourishing fam. When you have kids that come from other household situations, you have to be more attentive to blending nuances. You can’t take for granted that things are just going to fall in place or you just gonna magically “figure it out!” I promise you that’s a losing mindset, and you’re always going to be “loss in the sauce.” Blending fams typically have revolving schedules, appointments, and timing challenges most “first-families” don’t have to contend with. Being strategic and orderly will help you developed that parenting drive, and keep you out of that energy slump. Because when you hit that low with your energy, and stop being alert, that’s when s#%t tends to “break out!”
In my household I’m the planner. Even if I don’t write my plan out, I have a very “orderly” idea in my mind of how “our” day is going to flow. My finance loves to ask me all the time “what’s my plan for the day?” I ask myself all the time “why she even ask that! – she know she don’t have a plan!” (off course I never tell her that – I guess now she knows ugh!) I get so annoyed when she asks me that question that I just look at her now with a sappy face! Oh my God, it drives me crazy My G! She’s not a planner at all, and I know she needs HELP in that area. We’ve been a full-time blended fam going on 3 years now. I can’t tell you how many “break out” conversations we’ve had about pick-ups/dropp-offs, arrival times, work schedules, kids activities, visitation, and on and on! I used be like it doesn’t take a PHD to plan out the day!
The more “break outs” we had the better we understood one another. I realized that some people no matter how much you fuss, are just not good at organizing their own efforts and ideas into a plan. And even though we have a blended fam that requires planning doesn’t make you all of a sudden become a master planner. It was hard, but I started making allowances for my fams “sloooooooow” prep time to get ready to do anything. I realized that if I’m the planner, then I also have to include the ‘non-planners” in the plan! I learned I had to plan for the girls to have 3.5 arguments before going anywhere. I learned to allow 1.5 hours for my fiance to do make up. I learned to plan 30 extra mins for the poop I know my 19 month old son is going to have after I get his outfit on. The point is I learned how my blended fam functions, so that I could better plan for our family’s success. I essentially learned how to keep it pushin’, and stop sweatin’ the small shiznyee (as Lil” Scrappy would say!) . Our planning now is so much better as a household. Sometimes all it takes is that extra energy to keep digging until you figure out what works best for the peeps in your fam. Because one thing is for sure, the non-planners are going to keep, well, not planning until YOU(PreNup Pops) get it right!
What's good fam!!! I'm a divorced father of (8), and currently engaged to the most beautiful joint I've every seen! Let me break it down (6) kids are my bio-seedlings, and the other (2) sweet-hearts belong my soon-to-be wife! I'm an entrepreneur (hustler), and author. Fatherhood is my calling and passion. This blog is for My G's that hold it down for their "blended" fam, but haven't taking them nuptials. I'm all about empowering fathers and building strong families!