Blending Issues

“She just wants her daughter to be happy”

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DisclaimerOk, so this blog post is completely off brand! All my PNP hustlers please indulge me this one post to get this out. I promise you if you read this blog, and contemplate the content, I believe you will be immensely intrigued. Preciate you for understanding My G!

She just wants her daughter to be happy!…” I can’t get that statement out of my mind. My fiance is internally conflicted about how to reunite her daughter with the extended family of her ex-husband. At the end of the day who can fault a mother for wanting her20171104_123308 child to be happy. What parent wouldn’t do every thing in their ability to facilitate a happy life for their child. In many blended families experiencing happiness is a priority for every member of the family – including the kids. The difficulty in pursuing happiness, and not purpose is that happiness is circumstantial. Happiness is also self indulgent. Happiness, additionally, is conditional upon the internal desires and feelings of the one seeking satisfaction. No one person or situation can truly “make’ you happy. Happiness is an elusive ideal that lulls your ability to perceive reality. When you can’t consciously conceive the idea that life isn’t designed to afford you happiness, then you misappropriate the prevailing forces of the universe that are conflicting you to purpose. To the degree you are aware of the space of time you occupy, will be the degree to which you become consciously aware of your purpose. Without purpose happiness is a distraction. Happiness void of discipline contradicts the instinctive evolution of life. The convergence of purpose and awareness of time produces power to live without the need for happiness. What is the need for happiness when you are consciously dead to your purpose?

I’m conflicted about how to completely support my fiance’s effort to allow her daughter to resume relationships with people who’s sole desire is to only make her happy. I’m sure her extended family members love her daughter. I’m sure they just want to have some semblance of a relationship with the little girl. After all those are her peoples, and that’s all the family she really knows. But at what cost to the child? And at what cost to the relationship my fiance is attempting to build with her daughter? There has been no affirmation, nor acknowledgment of my fiance’s position as a mother to ultimately determine what relationships are crucially necessary for her daughter by anyone from the extended family. This is one of the major factors in my fiance seeking full custody of her daughter. If her ex-husband doesn’t completely respect her as a mother, how can I offer support to my fiance in allowing her daughter continuing relationships with those who are directly related to him. They’re not going to disown there son. Nor would I suggest they do so. The conundrum for me is that as a PNP I have pretty much no direct influence. I have no legal rights because I have not adopted the child as my own. I also want my fiance’s daughter to be happy. But I desire that (all) her relationships direct her to fulfill her highest potential, and I have yet to see evidence of that occurring with the man she knows as her dad. Unfortunately, parenting today is focused on the temporal acquisition of things and experiences that make kids happy. Too often this defeated focus ill-prepares kids to actualize their true independence – which is the antithesis of real life.

What's good fam!!! I'm a divorced father of (8), and currently engaged to the most beautiful joint I've every seen! Let me break it down (6) kids are my bio-seedlings, and the other (2) sweet-hearts belong my soon-to-be wife! I'm an entrepreneur (hustler), and author. Fatherhood is my calling and passion. This blog is for My G's that hold it down for their "blended" fam, but haven't taking them nuptials. I'm all about empowering fathers and building strong families!

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